January 2011

• A&E revives prisoners attempt to save lives with Beyond Scared Straight… So far, only 2 episodes have premiered and it’s already become a hit in my household at least…  I’m not sure if my 1-bedroom condo is considered a “household” because it’s only holding* me… Back to the subject… One word: Diabla …I’m still not sure if she was/is a woman… I really thought this was where “Beyond Scared Straight” meets “Punk’d”… and someone was going to come out and exclaim “WELCOME TO JAIL, LADIES!!! WE EVEN LET MEN IN HERE SOMETIMES!!!” Now, I’m not even sure that the show will help scare other kids from jail… 1, because it comes on at 10PM… and 2, it’s on A&E… but it damn sure is keeping me from going out here and thieving… 

• 8 year olds do some cool new dance… or old dance… I’m not sure of the timeline with krumpin’… just that MADTV used to do a pretty funny skit on it… It feels likes just 2 decades ago I was in their circle… and now… all they do is make me feel old… Enjoy…

• Kaing Obama drops the future rap hook for the hottest songs soon to come… Get ready for a huge summer… Remember when Swizz sampled every Jay-Z line known to man… and made hits with them… Get ready for Barack on your iPods with “WE DO BIG THINGS!!!” 

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl2g40GoRxg]

Baddest man on the planet…

ON THE FENCE…

• Flava Flav opens a fried chicken and rib shop... I couldn’t think of a clever lead-in… I think “Flava Flav opens a fried chicken and rib shop” says enough… This could have been in the “Doing It Wrong” category… but truly… anyone getting money legally and morally correct is quite alright with me… and truthfully, this is the natural progression of Flava Flav… it only makes sense that he’s doing this… It’s much better than his endeavor of finding love on VH1… and I don’t recall there being much of a backlash when Kenny Rogers opened up Rotisserie Chicken shops… So, why should we have one for a brother bringing flava to the coup… I’m just happy the ONE shop is in Iowa versus DC… because I’m not sure if I’d be able to withstand the temptation of another fried chicken interpretation… I’m quite sure if asked did I want to go get a bucket of Flava Flava chicken… I’d have to reply… “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!”

Couldn’t even replace the Long John Silvers banner, Flav??? 

DOING IT WRONG!!!

• Toyota makes innocent kid appear Douchey… Initially, when I decided to speak on this… I was going to go after the kid… much like a person who goes after the mistress / other man as opposed to addressing the significant other… So, Toyota or whomever they hired to come up with this Highlander promotion is to blame for this Douchey ass kid… Outfitted in the latest hipster attire… Skinny jeans, buttoned-up-to-the-top demin jean shirt, leather jacket with hood and hair that don’t care… Prances around his folks new van while showing up other kids “less fortunate” in the cool car department… There are several issues with this… The main one being will parents stake car payments on the advice of a pre-teen… Another, is the car even cool??? Lastly, fuck you douchey ass kid… I don’t mind riding around in my pops Brown Beatle… and I’m talking Bug Beatle… the old one… the one where you can hear your ride coming 4 blocks away… The one where the heat was regulated by the opening and closing of a vent… and NOT a temperature control setting… The one with the engine in the back… and the trunk in the front… The one without power steering fluid… DO YOU KNOW HOW TOUGH THAT IS LEARN HOW TO DRIVE ON!!! *wait…* I made this personal… My bad…

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pioprt3xH8Q]

FUCK YOU TOYOTA!!!

THIS IS HOW COOL KIDS RIDE!!! SHOUT OUT TO MY 6th GRADE SELF!!!

Well, let me go get some tea for this cold… 

…thanks for reading… and doing better…

– dre’ of onustees.com 

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• (Hand me my Late Pass) Mississippi Rapper, Big K.R.I.T., revamps a long forgotten trend in Hip Hop… That trend is and once was known as “good ole southern rap”… Formerly, the purveyors of this sub-genre were OutKast, UGK, & Little Brother… However, over the past couple of years… most of the music pumping out the South made you wonder (or worry) about the education climate of that region… Yet, with 19 self-produced tracks Big K.R.I.T. puts all fears to rest with “K.R.I.T Wuz Here”… Right off the 1st song “Return of 4va”, I was transported back 1994 burning up my tape of Kast’s Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik… It’s not just the Soul-heavy beats that get you… the lyrics are Do Better approved as well… most have themes of trying to do better in an environment that makes it quite difficult to do so… evident on the Marvin Gaye “Distant Lover” sampled “They Got Us” with hook “When this storm gon’ settle, I can’t hurt forever, how can I do better now… Break my back for nothing, lock me up for strugglin’, only God can judge me now…” …truths like “it’s hard to do be broke and do better…” …I strongly urge you to go out and support this young man… It took me a few months to finally load up the album sitting on my desktop because of his name alone… but after many friends, whose ears I trust, repeatedly told me I was missing out… I booted the album up and… they were right. Get on the Big K.R.I.T. train now before it’s overbooked…

• Club promoters take sh!t a little too far trying to get patrons… Now, I know as a race we, the Black people, have ALWAYS had issues with light skin, fair skin, dark skin debates… But to promote parties with “Light Skin” vs. “Dark Skin” battles is just so… slavish… Like truly, what does the winner get… 3 days off the fields and a chance to sip lemonade on the porch? and does the loser have to serve time breastfeeding massa chilluns?!? Well, whatever is the outcome, I hope this fad ends soon…

…it looks like they even airbrushed some of the Cocoa Loveliness off of “Dark Skin”…

• Skin color shame becomes a pandemic!!! That’s right… just after you found out what time the “Light Skin vs. Dark Skin” party started… Reggae artist Vybz Kartel decides to up the ante and bleach his skin… Fortunately, I don’t know much about is music… and certainly won’t be checking for GhostMan’s work anytime soon… So, whether he decides to turn yellow, purple or blue makes no difference to me… 

 LAWDAMERCY!

•  Old Coca-Cola R&B artist… makes it all too easy… If you’re familiar with #BlackTwitter… then by now you’ve run across a retweet or trending topic featuring the wizzdumb* of Sir Tyrese Gibson… give him 24 hours and his timeline is certain to reward you with absurd gems… This time he interprets his tweets through art with the painting “What If”… The painting illustrates Malcolm X baptizing Tupac Shakur… let me repeat… the painting illustrates Malcolm X BAPTIZING Tupac Shakur… (no Boardwalk Empire-o) …I would relish the chance to go-in on this… but Luvvie @ www.awesomelyluvvie.com has done a terrific job doing so…

TUG LAGE!!! Wait… What!?!

• The Game returns… Negroes rejoice… yet, no one wants to suggest that they’ve might have jumped the shark 5 minutes into the 2nd episodes!?! …first… let me be honest… I’m not a fan of the show… didn’t care for it when it was on the Public Negro Channel… and damn sure didn’t clamor for it to return on the Cable Negro Channel… I may have seen 2-3 full episodes during it’s run… So, this rant comes from a realm of hate… but dig… I was chillaxing Tuesday evening surfing on Hulu catching up on Family Guy when The Game pops on… and in the very 1st scene (well, 1st that I saw…) three of the main ladies on the show are taking off their tops!!! What the phuck!?! Now, I’m not what the phucking* them taking the tops off… No ma’am… Go right ahead… I just didn’t get WHY they did it… but I had to see what would come of this… therefore, I sat and watched the rest of the show assuming at some point they were going to address them getting “Girls Gone Wild” just to discuss somebody’s drama… I watched Derwin find out the baby is his… I saw the Jason Taylor looking dude throw his ex-teammates under the bus on-air… I observed Derwin punch a hole in the wall… again… I even got a chance to mute that dumb ass “Dips & Pitts” or vice versa song… and yet, with all of that… no one acknowledged that these women showed dem’ yammies… Well, not really… they were visually obstructed and I’m quite sure they actually had on pasties… by my imagination said “oh my damn, they bout to get butt ass naked…” and for what??? No one knows… or cares to write it in the story… However, I’ll be tuning next time to see if they repeat the peep show… but I’m only giving them until the 1st quarter.

Take them out to Basic Cable… & they might just give you a show second time around… 

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